青涩岁月

昨天
你的突来到访
让我有些讶异

你比较健谈了
有些许自负
比较有肉了
以前干巴巴的

基本上这两天是我们第一次说这么多话吧
记得以前常见到你来班上找朋友
知道你可是基本上没什么说过话
大家都说你很害羞
就这么不知不觉10年过去了

今天你的突然告白
说不高兴是假的
这是我的荣幸

原来中学的时候你一直喜欢我啊
那时班上的美女多
我就是一颗小草
可还真没想过
原来我才是你整天在我们班外晃来晃去的原因

谢谢你这么喜欢我
谢谢你让我知道
其实我也很不错

渐进曲

人生就像是一首渐进曲，
每个出现在生命里的人都是一个音符，每一段情谊就是一节旋律，
纵使有些片段曲不成调，仍是如此独特且无与伦比。

---藤井树《渐进曲》

放下

其实
很多事
看开了
想通了

就不纠结了
就不难过了

其实
很多事
解决方式很简单

就是
放下

10 signs when a girl gives up on you

1. She will not try to catch your attention.

2. She will not fight for you anymore.

3. She won’t reply your message as quickly anymore.

4. She won’t try to keep the conversation going anymore.

5. She will not care anymore.

6. She’s no longer jealous.

7. She will flirt and talk to other guys.

8. She’s no longer care if you care or not anymore.

9. She’s no longer goes to your profile and whine to people about how happy you’re, talking to other girls.

10. She will give up on trying to make you love her, because she finally realize that she deserves better.

And you will miss her.
Miss the way she cared about you.
Miss the way she loved you. And you have lost her.
So don’t take any girls for granted,
if you love her, let her know before she gives up !!

And i match all 10 signs. 

The only thing u can do best

Is to disappoint me again & again

Till i don't put any hope in you anymore

And you can still disappoint me

You are just so impressive

這個人已經與我無關

其實這個人 已與我無關

手機裡的他 笑得多燦爛

不過是一直很忙 無用的資料忘了刪

其實這個人 已與我無關

他前面的路 是光明暗淡

我決定袖手旁觀 至少不能比他更慢

Have made myself look at something
To challenge how i'd feel when i see it
The conclusion is
I'm still in pain

"I feel useless, especially when i am with you"
"You are moving forward, and i'm still at the same place"
"The distance between us are getting more and more far"

Friends advise me to sit down and talk to you face to face
But the problem is
When are you able to squeeze the time to talk to me face to face?

When i told my friends that i may only be able to meet you on 31st May
They show me this shocking face
Asking me, how about 21st May?
I just kept quite

Maybe, maybe i am also hesitating
If i should continue to hold on

I'm so freaking tired
And i feel sick
Just to think about it

Can i just take a break?

You say you miss me
You say you are looking at my photos everyday
You say you are still stalking my facebook & instagram

I cut my hair cox you liked my long hair
You said i look good for you no matter how

I had insomnia and can't sleep well for a while already
I am a human form panda
So i suppose i look good to you too?

Stop telling me things that i don't need to know

I'll be fine
And i don't need you.

Had a big quarrel
You throw ur phone, ur spec, car keys anything on you
Yelling
Shouting
Get me to let you out of my house immediately

So this is what happen when i tried to sort the issues out
I just want to know what is your plan
And there is still no plan
Even if there is, i will never know

I'm so freaking tired

You said: Your friend are correct.
You said: But i dun wish that to happen.

I asked: Shud i still hold onto you?
Shud i?
Can i?

You asked: What does that mean?

"I'm giving you another chance, grab it tight"

I cried after u left, the tear drops was big and heavy, dropping on my legs
Then i realized, i love you afterall

One last chance
I dunno how long time i can hold on...

Sweet as you

"I ate the apple d"

"Sweet"

"Sweet as me?"

"Yeah, sweet as you xD"

我知道你只是知道我最近的心情不好所以哄我

还是谢谢你

没有女孩不喜欢被人哄的

懒惰

你说其实你很爱我。

你说你都知道我在生气什么。

你说其实你都知道该怎么做。

你说你只是懒惰，只是懒惰讨好我。

我对自己说：好吧，你是爱我的。

可是，我也懒惰了。

我懒惰去想。

你会不会改过？

你会不会把握？

“那为什么你都不在乎我？”

“可能。。我只是懒惰。。”

那

会不会有一天

你也会懒惰爱我？

或许我是困惑了

你说你很爱我
可是当我需要安慰的时候
即使我开口说我想要一个拥抱
我也得不到

不知道什么时候开始
我都是主动抱人的那一个
却忽略了我自己
其实是最需要拥抱的那一个

那天
有人问我
"Is there anything you need that i can help?"
我才发现，其实我只是想要一个拥抱
一个安慰的拥抱

什么时候开始
开始不和你商量很多事
因为商量了也没有结果
你永远把自己放在中心点
忽略了我想要的

我不需要你每天陪着我
我只是希望我有困扰的时候，有人商量
我只是希望当我需要安慰的时候，有个拥抱
很难吗？

你说你很爱我
可是你连一个拥抱都吝啬
你到底真的爱我吗？

I hope you are really getting better
But why tears still drops, out of control

You have cut your hair
Wanted to start fresh
So, stop crying

Your parents are worry
Your friends are worry

So, be a good girl
Don't make anyone worry anymore

But...
Just let me cry for the last time...

Team Building @ Pangkor FY15 - Part 2

On the second day morning

We woke up at 7am, as we will have in hall activities at 8.30am.

Then its of course some kind of sharing session bla bla bla

Keep on talking

But i kind of like all these session that is prepared by Syahrul

Everything has a meaning behind

And he does not force you to talk/share

I love the rules that he set for the sharing session

He is really doing a great job

In the afternoon, we head for the Island Tour

To a private beach where we were the only visitors

Me and Siu May on the speedboat

Ya, the hair is super messy :p

Our boat, 10 of us (Jia Xiong the photographer is not in the photo of course)

Again, we played some games by the beach

Then after free & easy session starts

Everyone gone crazy!

They started to throw people into the sea

They started with Jerry

Then after Jerry get wet, he becomes the leader to catch people and throw into the sea > <

I was one of them helping them to get Jerry into the sea

Help them to take the HP etc that they found on Jerry before they throw him into the sea

But here is the scene i laughed out hard

Jeff was lying on the beach, relaxing

Then Avex just go over and sit on his chest

Then the rest grab his hands and legs

Of course he struggled

And then he hang himself on Avex

Which gave them no choice but to throw both of them together into the sea

Basically i can only remember Avex running towards me that time

Take away my bag and ask me to hand out my handphone, take off my watch and sunglasses

And also asking me, dun struggle or u will get hurt

Of course i gave up struggle, there were so many of them!

Mana mungkin i can get away?

But then when they were busy dealing with me

Jeff grab the chance to the unattended Charlie beside me, carry her straight away

And throw into the sea

Wow, Jeff you are so man!!!

To be honest

I can't remember who throw me into the sea as everything happens too fast and i was distracted by Jeff who was being so MANLY, until i saw the photos

I can only remember Avex is one of them, because after he threw me

"Eik, haven wet finish, needs to get whole people basah"

Then he just pour water on me again, to make sure i am all wet

After they threw me, they head for mummy

Know what mummy did?

She just ran into the sea herself, saying "I go myself, i go myself" 

And everyone just get crazy after that, and grab anyone insight, who hasn't get wet

Straight into the sea

Including the managers and director

Then the Grand Prix dinner

This 酒鬼 really never ended drinking beer for the whole day

From day time till night time

Elise got the best dress for female that night

Phewitt, so sexy~~ 

I liked Avex's jacket very much therefore i requested to take photo with him

Actually he stick all those stickers

And this is the outcome

"Oh, Handsome!!"

And then he asked Elise to come on stage to do this

So i just act like

"OMFG, what are u both doing?"

My boss get so excited seeing us taking photo with Avex and joined us as well

p/s: Everyone knows she likes him very much, as she mentioned that she even dreamt of him!

After that we gathered in my room for the last night in Pangkor

Poor Iko, Shea May, Angeline, Isaac and Avex were stuck with the manager when they were trying to take more beers for us

Somemore it rained!

They have to take few Tequila shots to get back to us > <

Felt so bad about that

By the time Shea May and Isaac were in my room

They were kind of tipsy already

We played true or dare

And Isaac only mentioned two sentence

"Kiss Jeff"

"Did you fuck before?"

We were just keep on drinking and playing

I kissed both "May"

And get carried by 4 guys, each 5-10 seconds

What happens in the room stays in the room, as they say

Really need to thanks to Avex who has been taking care of me throughout the night

He asked me how much did i drank whenever i opened a new can of beer

He asked how i felt, if i am dizzy or tipsy always

And he ensured Elise that he will drank for me if i started to get drunk

He ensured that my beer is always cold enough so that it wun taste bad

And he took away the beer from me and drink it himself when he feels that i shouldn't drink more

After Iko and Shea May went back to their room

We had some sharing session again

And slowly Avex himself also fallen asleep

So i just get the rest of the people to leave first as it was already almost 5am

Avex wun wake up even Jess kicked him

So i was planning to just let him slept there

But he still woke up when i was trying to put the towel as the pillow under his head

And he insisted that he can walk back by himself

E-yon get up that time and we both watched him walked back

And ran to him when he stopped and bend down

He vomited

So we watched him back to his room

With the message "Whatsapp me when you reach your room"

To be honest, i forgot bout that after i get back to my room

And then he called, just to ensure that we were safe

I just get to know that he was too tired till he forgot to bath but just slept with the sparkling juice smell all over him on the second morning

We were waiting for the ferry and teasing Isaac for being hangover :p 

We stopped by a souvenir shop when we were on the way back to KL

Everyone went down for shopping but i have no interest

And found out that Jiaxiong was playing guitar at the back, and Avex were still there too

So i joined them

And then i fallen asleep on the half way back to KL

And eventually i slept on Avex's shoulder without realizing it even after i woke up

Until he teased me "My arms were pain cox carried you last night, and now my shoulder is pain cox your head is heavy"

*blush*

"No wonder i feel so comfortable when i sleep la, that's why i slept so well"

"Ya, i didn't wake u up cox i saw u slept so well"

Big bunch of thanks for being such a gentleman!!

Hope didn't bring any trouble to you!!

And today i'm still having body ache...

p/s: New record is 4 cans of Calsberg

Team Building @ Pangkor FY15 - Part 1

After the very short preparation time which makes me stressed up and had stomach cramp

Finally here it is

Team Building @ Pangkor

Of course we are twins again, always stick together as if everyone expected

Sitting next to each other on the bus

And we share the same room again

Yeap, we are SRN May Babies Admin

Actually i did not really took alot of photos

Kind of out of the mood until the night time

After the 4 hours on the bus, a very quick lunch at KFC Lumut

45 minutes on the Ferry

Take a short break at the resort

Then we off for the games

Unfortunately i was in the same team with my own boss, Melissa and Director, Andrew

Make me even out of the mood...

Luckily Fee Chin mummy, Avex and Jeff were there too > <

Here are some photos that i took based on requests

Half naked guys in the pool

I purposely retake this one cox cannot see Avex from the front

People request to have his front look wa~~

p/s: We saw half naked Isaac, Avex, Jeff. and even Jiaxiong!! LOL

She is always very yeng.

Hornbill in the restaurant~~

We had some simple BBQ dinner at the night

To be honest, the food are really so so...

But there is something funny happened :p

We were forced to be separated when we girls all sit together

So Fee Chin mummy, Charlie, Irene, left and go to another table

BUT

Ong, Sam Ong, Ken Ong, Saiful sit down on our table

And we found out the boys cheated as they just bulat bulat switched to another table and yet they still have empty seats!

We were so helpless looking around, then they say: We need girls at this table.

Me, Elise and May act super fast, grab our things, and move together to this table.

Poor Eyon, she respond late and we thought there were four seats for us, but there was only 3!

Know what we did? We just grab another chair and ask her to come over. And here comes the crowded table.

p/s: Seriously i dun think any of us will have appetite sitting with those "guys"...

After the dinner, we had a campfire session by the beach.

Can see Isaac playing guitar there

The rest of us were just chatting, drink some beer

I was kind of emo huh?

But this photo is really nice, credit to Jia Xiong.

Then we just sit by the beach chit-chating till Avex suggested to play games called "Angel & Demon"

We were a big gang of around 12-14 people?

And we were having fun till the bosses wanted us to join them

We were kind of bad, of course we duwan to play with bosses

Know what we did?

We told them we wanted to rest then we went to Avex's room to continue the games

Till 2am in the morning.

Well, Avex is really a super gentleman, i was staying at farthest Chalet, and he really did escort me back.

I din really drink much, just 2 cans in that day.

You

You
Always respond late when i'm definitely not ok

You
Never realized that i have changed

You
Never realized that i was wearing a new necklace that you never know

You
Never asked bout how am i though i have posted on FB that i'm having gastric

You
Can just leave me alone, no calls, no msg, as if you are never there

You
Disappointed me over and over again

(Untitled)

Hey you

Can stop crying so much for something impossible ma?

Just accept the FACT!!

Can't Stop

Just once in a day, I remember you, miss you
Just once in a day, I try to forget
This can’t be right, this can’t be right
If this isn’t right, then what am I supposed to do?

With your one word, I laugh
I live day by day, like a mirror
My day is yours

Can’t stop me now Can’t stop me now
I still smell your scent of spring
Can’t stop me now Can’t stop me now
I can’t stop, I can’t stop loving you

Ya, i just can't stop loving you now.

I love you so much. 

Don't let me go

I'm breaking free from these memories

Gotta let it go, just let it go

I've said goodbye

Set it all on fire

Gotta let it go, just let it go

I let it go and now i know

A brand new list is down this road

And when it's right, you always know

So this time I won't let go

There's only one thing left here to say

Love's never too late

Won't let you go, don't let me go

Freezing Boy

Please click into the video for the details
I love it

(Untitled)

May i know what you were thinking seeing this photo?

Screwed Up

What can i say? I am screwed up!

World within world

Can't make a new world;
So build a world within a world.

(Untitled)

No matter how wisdom we thought we have
It may be crushed anytime by something called, Feelings
And that is terrifying

Especially that actually makes you hesitate
On what kind of person you are
What do you really want

I am confused

(Untitled)

Don't give any promises or high confidence to someone you love
When you are not the decision maker

Disappointment caused
Is huge...